Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Road Bump

Tonight we made it out to watch daddy's softball team play. I'll share some pictures before I post what's on my heart....

The trio before we left:

Landry Grace on the move!

Landry Grace with Mallory and Hudson. We were not successful in getting a group shot...we tried.

LG is crazy about dogs. C-R-A-Z-Y. Loves. Them. She and Arley were in heaven at the ballpark.

Jake and Kyle watching their daddies.

I have always said that I love having my babies close together in age(360 days apart and NO it wasn't planned, but it happens!) but here lately we have been experiencing some major road bumps. The hard part comes when both babies are in the "terrible twos" and "terrible threes" together. It has made for some very difficult parenting moments here lately. They tend to "feed off" each other making some predicaments worse. Parenting is hard in and of itself and we have an added element with the age situation and their individual needs. Yet I also feel that's just an excuse and I need to get over it and just DEAL. At the same time I do know that it could always be worse. Our children are overall happy and healthy. With that being said.....


Jake has really become a whiner since turning 3 and I have just NOT found a good way to deal with the situation. Sharing is a battle we all face as parents and it doesn't go over well at all with Jake. He won't share....do I let him battle it out with the other child and watch or do something about it? I don't want to enable him by always stepping into the situation as I want him to learn for himself. Another example, if someone walks by his sippy cup or god forbid his capri sun he goes crazy because he thinks they are going to drink it. Talking about it seems to do no good, time out we do...but that doesn't seem to work for him, and spanking we do because it does work, but I hate to do it all the time. Then the guilt sets in...do I not give him enough attention. Did he not get nurtured enough as a toddler? Did I not teach him properly? It may sound so trivial but when you are in the midst of it, it is very very frustrating. Is it because I work and cannot meet all of his needs? Sorry for the pity party...I am just concerned that this isn't normal behavior. At the same time I am thinking that maybe it is his way of crying out for attention.


Landry Grace also has her needs but they are different. She is clingy at times but that I can handle. She has her temper tantrums and then she seems to bounce back pretty well. We are trying to potty train her currently and saying she "has a mind of her own" is an understatement. You can't trick her into anything so I haven't pushed the issue at all. Tonight she scored a "2 pointer" on the potty without being prompted so of course we loaded everyone up and headed to the dollar store for a prize. It was more than humorous to see Jake giving her high fives and screaming "woo-hoo" at the top of his lungs since he just figured he would get a prize too, which he did.


There are highs and lows. Parenting is such a challenge. We have all thought to ourselves before or after becoming parents: "My child will NEVER do that" or "I'm glad that's not my child" and now I am eating those words and shameful that I thought that way at one time. Now I always try to think until you are in their shoes, don't judge. OK...I'm done.

This is more the Lord telling me to trust in Him and pray earnestly that we are doing the best we can with our babies. Amen:)

10 comments:

Emery Wilkerson said...

Love the picture! Thanks for posting!! And I love that ya'll loaded up & headed to the Dollar Store for prizes!! What fun memories! Sorry I can't offer any advice but know that I'll be praying for ya'll. I'm sure this phase will be over in no time. Enjoy the rest of your week!! Can't believe your summer is just around the corner!

Marylou said...

What a good post. I think a lot of times we all try to pretend as parents that we've "got it all figured out" when clearly- we don't! I have so many times eaten my words as my child lays out on the floor in Wal-Mart throwing a temper tantrum :)

jessie said...

this to shall pass. :) thinking about y'all!

The Gregorys said...

Maybe not the best suggestion, but I am finding that bribing works well for us. Or I TRY to talk to them about where we will be going before we go and them give LOTS of PRAISE if they did well in whatever situation. Just something that is working for me at the moment!

sam said...

Do not grow weary in doing good. You are an incredible mom. I found that the age of 3 was much harder for Blake than 2. If you really want suggestions call some time. It is hard but consistency is the KEY! Don't beat yourself up as you kids truly are PRECIOUS!!

DeniFay said...

I'm glad I came across this post, b/c I was way older when my sister was born, so I did NOT want to share either! I thought she was cool until I realized she was permenant! But what my parents did sticks with me, they told us both that everything was 'better' when you shared it. So, if you've got a popsicle and you give mommy a lick, then it will taste better. If you have a toy and you share it, it will be more fun. I'm sure we didn't catch on overnight, but eventually it got to be a game where we tried to share EVERYTHING with everyone we loved. Just a thought, I'll be trying it with mine one day!!

I know you're a fabulous mommy, so keep your head high, your eyes on God, and it will get better!

Lora said...

You are doing a GREAT job---I must confess that the ONLY time in my life that I felt TOTALLY out of control at times was raising my children. It all passes by REALLY fast and as with running--just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Endurance is the key! Your children are VERY typical to be SO special! (BY THE WAY---EACH AND EVERY I WILL NEVER OR MINE WILL NEVER---I HAD TO EAT!)

dani said...

so honest! and you are NOT alone in the "whiny 3s". Kaden has them HORRIBLE too! Let me know if you find the magic trick to get rid of them :) I just tell him he can't get what he wants if he can't ask in his "big boy voice". Consistency is key and you are doing that so keep up your good work! And girl, I stay home with my kiddo and he STILL has behavior problems so do NOT NOT NOT beat yourself up for working. Kids are kids and all go thru challenges, especially at this age. Big hugs to you girl!!!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you posted this! We are just now in the 2's and we only have one so I can't imagine how hard some days are for you. Just know that one day they will be all grown up and we will be WISHING they were driving us crazy. It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job and don't ever think that you aren't doing the best you can. Your blog shows just how great of a mother you are.

Carol

Jessica Stephenson said...

1-2-3 Magic!
That book helped me sooo much with managing Caleb (one of the most strong-willed children I have ever encountered) through those years.